My Daughter's Birthday — Ruby Lee Cornelius

An excerpt from my memoir - Choiceless: A Birthmother’s Story of Love, Loss & Reunion

March 3, 1971 “All day, throughout the discomfort and fear, I had put my entire focus on seeing the baby. I was ready to meet my little companion of the past nine months. It was a mixed bag of emotions. Seeing her would also mean it would not be long until we were separated — possibly forever. Although i knew it was inevitable, I still wished it could be otherwise. But, this baby was ready and eager to begin her life, and it was my job to help make that happen.”

Today is my daughter’s 48th birthday. I did not know her — where she was or how she was — until she was 22 years of age and the mother of an almost four-year-old daughter. For 22 years, I silently wished her Happy Birthday, hoping my message would reach her through the channel of love that no human power can block or resist. In 1994, I was able to share my message with her, voice-to-voice, for the first time.

I called her again today, and left her a voicemail. Twenty-five years of Happy Birthday calls.

I maintain a close friendship with her adoptive mom. She sent me the following message on March 3, 2017:

“Dearest Ruby, Today is our daughter’s birthday. We have come from two different backgrounds. You, a saddened young mother who just gave birth, and me a middle-aged ‘ground greeter’ anticipating the arrival of a beautiful baby girl. Little did we know how our lives would cross and the connection we would have in our years to come. I want to shout it from the top of the mountain and tell the world how much joy and love we have together because of meeting. Thank you, Ruby, for the life you gave to us. Love, Pat (Ann)”

Less than two weeks ago, our daughter became a grandmother, and we are great-grandmothers to a lovely baby girl. No matter the circumstances, there are now four generations, stemming from the teenage union between high-school lovers. Life goes on, with all of its ups and downs and sideways turns.

I am grateful to have given you life, my daughter. I wish you well, and I wish you a Happy Birthday!