Soon there will be four.....

An excerpt from my memoir - Choiceless: A Birthmother’s Story of Love, Loss, and Reunion

“Evan had celebrated her fourth birthday one day earlier. I wanted to bring her a birthday gift and decided on some Snow White trinkets after roaming Target’s toy aisle for forty-five minutes. She was clearly underwhelmed and boldly asked, ‘Why did you give me this Snow White junk?’ How could I have known, after all, that while she had a dash of enthusiasm for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast was her ‘jam,’ as she describes it today?”

I remember with clarity the feeling I had when the woman who raised my daughter told me I was already a grandmother. I was just 40 years old, and already had a soon-to-be four-year-old granddaughter! This little girl was wickedly smart and delightfully honest. From the first day we met, she regaled me with stories of her family with the vocabulary of a seasoned adult. At times it was difficult to keep a straight face while she earnestly explained in detail her most recent goings on - so serious - so engaged - and oh, so little!!

Evan is her mother’s daughter. She is beautiful, intelligent and hysterically funny. She calls me G-Ma, because the well-deserved title of Grandma was taken long before I came onto the scene.

I have known my daughter and granddaughter now for 25 years. Evan is soon-to-be 29 years old, and she is expecting her first baby - a girl! And, I am being upgraded to the title of GG-Ma.

Forty-eight years ago, I went home alone after five months in a home for unwed mothers. Sworn to silence, I grieved the loss of my child in solitude. I picked up my life to the best of my ability - got married and raised two children - but not a day went by that my daughter wasn’t in my thoughts and prayers.

Then, there was only me. Twenty-three years later, I received the gift of reunion. And then there were three - a mother, daughter and granddaughter. And, soon there will be four.

I am blessed beyond measure.